Breath and Silence

The modern landscape of New Delhi Indira Ghandi International Airport stunned me for a moment, then reality checked in…I realized the land of mystery and mystics, the land of the Vedas is rapidly becoming a global force with a fast pace economy and a growing middle class that’s leading a country towards a new frontier. This airport with its majestic stature was a fine example of progress towards that frontier. I am in India for a two week ‘ Breath Practicum and Silent Retreat’ held at Swami Rama Sadaka Gurukulum (SRSG) in the northern city of Rishikesh, a population of over 100,000 people, a

Rishikesh on the banks of the Ganga

city situated at the foothills of the mighty Himalayan mountains and on the banks of the scared Ganga river. Quickly passing through customs and immigration at 2:30 in the morning there is not much to see but the crowds of people waiting to greet the arrivals. I scanned the crowds for the taxi drivers who we (myself and four others) would be spending the next 6-7 hours with traveling north to Rishikesh. There with the sign SRSG I saw them and with a wave of the hand, a smile and very few words of English we greeted each other and made our way to the taxis. During the 6-hour drive to Rishikesh we saw villages wake up to the rising sun, witnessed hundreds of truck trailers traveling the roads transporting goods and supplies to who knows where, but one can imagine to all parts of India, and people performing their morning spiritual rituals. Our experienced driver maneuvered between cows, goats, dogs, cyclists, people walking, buses, tuk tuks, trucks and managed to keep up with honking the horn at a relatively continuous ear piecing pace for the FULL 7 hours or so. We arrived at the Ashram around 9:30 am, checked-in and then had the remaining of the next two days to settle in, acclimatize and prepare for the retreat.

The daily retreat schedule started at 5 am and finished at 9 pm. A typical day would be:

5:00 - 8:30 am	Morning prayer, hatha yoga and pranayama with guided meditation practice
8:30 -9:30 am	Breakfast
9:30 -10 am	Journaling /studies
10:00 am-1:00 pm	Workshops and a pranayama practice
1:00 -2:00 pm	Lunch
2:00 -3:00 pm	Digestive breathing practice
3:00 -4:00 pm	Workshop / journaling/ studies
4:00 -5:45 pm	Tea, hatha yoga and pranayama practice
5:45 -6:45 pm	Pranayama and silent meditation practice
7:00 -8:00 pm	Supper
8:00 -9:00 pm	Evening lecture or event and evening prayers

In the next few pages I’ll touch on some of the highlights of the breath and silence teachings and share thoughts and reflections about this journey.

The Breath

Without relaxing the body, without establishing diaphragmatic breathing, without calming the emotional states, without constantly observing the state of the breath, the breath will not flow smoothly. Swami Veda 2014

After reading the above quote it became very evident that my breath was not flowing smoothly, and to establish a constant smooth breath required dedicated self-awareness in every thing I do. As I write this I am observing my breath and it’s definitely not smooth, it stopped a few times and there are erratic pauses between inhale and exhale. I invite you to take a moment and observe your breath.

When we consider that breath is our constant companion from the very first moment of life, at birth the baby inhales and then lets out the loudness, most joyful cry, while at death the last breath is an exhalation, life is a continuous series of breaths. It’s estimated that the average person takes about 21000 breaths per day breathing at a rate of about 15-20 breaths per minute and the average human lifespan is around 75 years. Consider the tortoise with a life span of over 250 years and with a respiratory rate of 3-4 breaths per minute. Might it be possible for us humans to have a longer life span if we slowed our breath?

In learning to establish a smooth and even breath we were introduced to several breathing techniques that developed awareness and strength of the diaphragm, assisted in clearing the stagnant air out of the lungs and regulated the length of inhalation and exhalation without having any pause between the breaths. We were also instructed to observing the flow of the breath in the nostrils. This reminded me of our last semester discussions on Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and his theories on ‘flow’ where flow was associated with the following:

• intense and focused concentration on the present moment
• merging of action and awareness
• a loss of reflective self-consciousness
• a sense of personal control or agency over the situation or activity
• a distortion of temporal experience, one's subjective experience of time is altered, and
• experience of the activity as intrinsically rewarding also referred to as autotelic experience

After focusing on the flow of the breath for several minutes we were asked to observe the space when the breath naturally transitioned from inhalation into exhalation and vise versa. This practice is intended to further develop a more subtle awareness of the breath, and in developing this awareness we become attuned to the subtle degrees of consciousness we are otherwise not aware of. As I contemplated on the notion of transition, it dawned on me that in every action, thought, speech, muscular contraction, heart beat, eye-blink, there is a transition phase, perhaps for a few microseconds, and in that time, a time of silence, if we can develop a heightened awareness to this silence we become aware of the present moment and we can actually live in this moment. I thought about our cohort group and the countless transitions we’ve experienced during the last two semesters. I invite you to spend a few moments and observe the transitions between your actions, thoughts, speech, and breath and enjoy the stillness and silence that emerges. Rest in this silent space.

Silence

Silence is not opposite to speech. Silence is a state of mind. It is silencing the eyes, silencing the hands, silencing the urge to indulge, to run around, to hear, to look. This is the kind of silence we are going to practice.  Silence is the fullness of the mind; the mind filled with an energy stream flowing from within. Swami Veda 2014

In cultivating this silence we were inducted into, and practiced the art of ‘contemplative walking’. Contemplative walking is a method of conscious walking with a harmonization between body, mind, breath and senses. The mind becomes one pointed, relaxed and focus. For many of us normal daily walking is an automatic process and we devote very little attention to the process. Not surprisingly, we find ourselves tripping over things or stubbing our toes. When we become very aware of our stride length, where our feet are placed, the speed of our movements, where we are looking, what we are hearing, how much muscular tension we are using, how coordinated and balanced we are, how high we lift our foot off the ground, the depth of quiet and relaxation that envelops the mind is astounding, stillness in movement. I invite you to practice a few moments of contemplative walking and experience this deep quietude of the mind.

This silence was continued throughout the following days in all of our activities. During meal times we talked less, while we prepared our equipment for practical classes we were quiet, in greeting each other we adopted the intention to be silent, during our morning walks we listen for and enjoy the silence between all the sounds we heard, and as we observed our breath we make it smooth and silent. The calmness and slowing down was noticeable, the increase in energy was subtle, not the energy of wanting to be active, instead an energy of inner reflection and ‘fullness’, one of deep centering and focus, a type of energy I experienced for the first time. If this was the impact of just a few days of ‘quiet’ time I can only imagine what five years of silence would do, a practice that 81-year old Swami Veda, the spiritual guide of the ashram is currently observing. Accompanying this inner energy was a noticeable level of stillness in my everyday activities. For example, while seated in the crossed legged position I observed myself feeling more steady and stable instead of the customary shifting around every few minutes to find a comfortable position. Or, while standing and observing the surrounding nature there was a definite grounded-ness and stability, with my attention fixed and focused on a single object, yet aware of, and undisturbed by what was happening in the immediate surroundings. My breath also slowed down to perhaps the slowest I’ve ever experienced. Was this the intense and focused concentration on the present moment and merging of action and awareness that Csikszentmihalyi described, a silent focused un-wandering mind!

Biofeedback and the mind wandering experiment

One of the unique features of SRSG is the Meditation Research Institute (MRI), a department whose mission is to investigate and document the various meditative techniques and to test their effectiveness

with scientific tools and methods. In other words, scientifically documenting the neuroscience and other aspects of yoga and meditation. The Institute is currently involved in an international research project that investigates the phenomena of mind wandering. You can read more about the MRI and the mind wandering project by clicking this link http://ahymsin.org/main/mri/the-meditation-research-institute.html. When mind wandering occurs, the executive components of attention appear to shift away from the primary task, leading to failures in task performance and superficial representations of the external environment. (Smallwood & Schooler, 2006). Well, I was always curious about what was happening inside my head so I volunteered to be a participant in the project. The ninety-minute session was divided into two, forty-five minute segments, and my task was to focus and perform the breath awareness and meditation practice as taught by the Himalayan Yoga Tradition. The verdict is still out, it will probably be several months before I get some general feedback. Will keep all posted.

After three weeks of unlearning and letting go the habits of mind I am now understanding the reasons why as a kid, I was asked almost daily to ‘sit in the corner’ after making mischief, perhaps my parents knew that sitting still was good for my mind. In today’s world we are constantly seeking quietude and we welcome the opportunity to sit in a corner and embrace a few moments of stillness and silence. In the absence of a quiet corner I take refuge in knowing that breath is always with me.

Stay safe and warm

Until the next post

Namaste

Works Cited

Smallwood, J., & Schooler, J. W. (2006). The Restless Mind. Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 132, (No. 6), 946–958.

The Jewelers Loupe: exploration of hidden spaces

Time went by so quickly this weekend probably because we were having a lot of fun. We discussed curriculum theory, engaged in our first class presentation, read out loud a moving narrative about becoming human, and explored the shapes, colors, textures, and other characteristics of skin, pine cones, stones and leaves. How lucky to be with this cohort group in the SFU MEd HEAL program. Oh, one more thing, we also discussed our next potluck day…..yeaaaaah, can’t wait to taste the delicious soup Taylor will be making or the healthy salad Josh will be sharing and of course the yummy in your tummy food everyone else will be bringing!!!

This post is mainly about looking through the jeweler’s loupe to see beyond what we see at first glance. I did two exercises with the loupe. Our first exercise was to look through the five powered magnifying jeweler’s loupe at our skin, finger-tips, cuticles, finger prints, areas we pay very little attention to, and explore these areas in more detail. My first impression was ‘this looks like what a scent from The Hobbit might be… ‘Middle Earth and the dark stark forest of branchless black trees.’ A wonderful view of the skin can be viewed here

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdKlmyfp5_w

My reflections on the skin is best summed up by the thoughts below:

soft and supple

weathered and wrinkled

blisters, cuts, moles and calluses

what beauty lies beneath

you tell stories of youth and vigor

shining and glowing, reaching and stretching

you share the wisdom of age and experience

dry, cracked, exposed; gnarled by the elements

valleys, mountains, ledges with saw-toothed edges

waves of wonder, fractal patterns

dunes and ripples expose my identity

the stark, bare forest, deep roots of arrector pili

my protection, my nourishment

you keep me whole

oh how I long for times begone

to feel the touch, a gently caress

The second exercise involved looking through the loupe at a ‘shell’ of a pine-cone. At first glance it looked like a brown sea shell, with various shades and patterns of brown separated by very delineated boundaries. However on closer examination less obvious lines became apparent, dotted areas and gradient shades of brown were intermingled, I observed a ‘head’ and ‘tail’ section, the curvature of the structure resembled a well constructed dome and the overall form of this single pine cone reminded me of a tortoise /turtle shell.

Turtles have evolved over 100 million years and are important habitants and contributors of land and ocean ecosystem. There are about seven species of sea turtles and they are all either on, or close to, joining the endangered species list. (Species Sea Turtles). Land turtles or tortoise, are more numerous in their species and share various habitats including deserts, marshes and forested areas. Turtles (both land and sea) can reach ages of 80 years, a conservative number; many tortoises species can have much longer life spans that their sea dwelling family. While tortoises can re-track their head back into their shells, sea turtles are unable to do this. The shell of the turtle is primarily for protection from predators.

While drawing the pine cone shell (see drawing below) the notion of ‘protection’ filled my thoughts. The

shell protects the pine nut /seed from the elements. The lines and form of the pine shell are designed to ‘fit’ into the pine cone along with other shells to form this protective barrier for the precious pine nuts. This protection ensures survival of the species to a certain point, before the elements, man and other natural events intervene. The protection offered by the hard tortoise shell and the woody pine cone shell was a sharp contrast to the softness of my skin. Each structure evolved and adapted according to the evolution of the species, to provide the basic need of protection, either from predators or the forces of nature. While the shell provided protection from the external elements, I also wondered about the nature of what was protected, and how this ‘protection’ can be a metaphor for our discussions around curriculum.

Reflecting on this exercise, the class discussions and some of the questions and thoughts raised, I am now so much more curious about the notion of ‘what is curriculum’? Two thoughts/ questions we lightly touched on resonated with me…is curriculum a means /modality for the unfolding and development of the individual OR is curriculum a management tool, and if so managing what? As an educator and with some experience in curriculum development, a personal opinion is that curriculum is increasingly used as a management tool in justifying the business of education. The unfolding of the individual often takes second or third place to the intense pressure we as teachers are faced with in ‘covering’ the curriculum in a timely manner.  Is formal curriculum a direct method of ‘managing’ the learning, and in so doing leads to enculturation of learners? If formal curriculum is a form of managing learning and shaping the minds of learners, do learners develop the skills, attitudes and attributes for self autonomy? Is curriculum a means to manage ‘free thinking’? While these are provocative questions, I am reminded that there might be an opportunity hidden in the midst of this educational chaos we live in.

We had a brief in class discussion about the works of the scholar Dr. Ted Aoki and his contribution to education. We discussed the notion of two curriculums teachers are faced with, the formal curriculum as dictated by curriculum designers and the lived curriculum (a hidden curriculum) the actual events and relationships between teachers, students and administrators that occur. Perhaps we do need to explore what this hidden curriculum is and discover ways of situating ourselves in this space?

In bringing these thoughts back to the loupe exercise, using the loupe to further explore my skin and the pine shell gave me a glimpse of what lies beyond the glance. I’m intrigued by what a ‘Loupe Curriculum’ might inspire, a course that teaches how to live in the inter-space between the formal curriculum and the lived curriculum. Hummm might this be the beginnings of the major assignment in ‘Curriculum and Instruction in an Individual Teaching Specialty’.

Stay safe and warm

Until the next post

Namaste

Moving on...semester two

The journey continues and so far I'm enjoying every moment of it.  Semester two started 2 weeks ago and our first class' laid the path for the next few months. The overall theme of this semester is "The curriculum and instruction in an individual teaching specialty" and I sense I'll be guided towards deeper self inquiry, reflection and growth. Our first assignment is about 'tensions' within our choosen professions and how we navigate them. When thinking about this topic my initial thought was 'hummmm so much to choose from', famous last words as this was more challenging than anticipated especially since I had to write about it instead of talk about it. 

The Saber-Tooth Curriculum article by Abner Peddiwell exemplifies the current state of affairs within the massage therapy profession in British Columbia with intra-professional tensions perhaps at the highest in the last twenty years. 

There are many ‘tensions’ within the profession for example:

•  education requirements that’s based on competencies instead of number of hours
• the notion of the effectiveness of a clinical, regional or specific treatment verses one that is a full body integrative relaxation session 
•  the need to practice from an evidence/ informed based practice that borders on a western allopathic orthopedic model of therapy, verses an eastern, holistic, mind-body treatment approach and
• jurisdictional requirements and acceptance of out of province trained therapists

This post will explore one area of tension I manage daily, namely the treatment request from the client verses the treatment approach based on my assessment and clinical experience, that would best suit the client at the time of their visit. An additional layer of ‘tension’ is added when the client is referred by another health care professional with a specific request, as will be explained later on. The questions I will address are: why this tension exists?  how it came to be?, and what I learn from the experience.

In answering ‘Why this tension exist?’ I realized it exist because I create it. It became very apparent that my beliefs, experiences, attitudes and surroundings have an immense impact on the clinical situations and client presentations I am faced with, the methods, and thoughts I refer too when developing a treatment approach, and how I contribute to creating a clinical situation – tension relationship.

When clients present their health narratives and concerns, and, they share the advice received from other health care practitioners, it’s easy to imagine how they can at times interpret these well-meaning words of advice as the authoritative word. I am acutely aware of censoring what I say to them and not add to the deluge of information, and in doing so hope my words of advice direct them towards a more meaningful and healthier lifestyle.

How these tensions came to be

Clients today are more educated about various health care disciplines and have access to a far greater number and diversity of health care professionals than ever before. Some professions are provincially and nationally regulated such as massage therapy, nursing, physiotherapy, medicine, naturopathy and traditional chinese medicine, while other professions are not (they may be in other areas of the world) including aromatherapy, shatisu, nutrition and ayurveda. It’s becoming increasingly important during initial (and ongoing) assessments to explore what other therapies clients have experienced and why, and then ensure that the approach to treatment I adopt with the client is professionally appropriate and complimentary and, meet the needs of the client. Below is a description of a scenario when a ‘tension’ developed between what I believed the client needed, and what their request was.

The general history of the client: 30 + year old female nurse, eight months ago had a brain aneurysm rupture while at work. She is an emergency nurse so was very fortunate to be at work when this incident occurred and was able to get prompt medical care with immediate surgery. With her current rehabilitation program, her prognosis is very good, there is however some residual cognitive challenges that she still experiences and is currently receiving medical attention for it. This client was referred to me by her physiotherapist for treatment of her ‘tight, sore, back and leg’ muscles. She is an avid and active runner, and is engaged in several other activities. During our initial assessment I did find an increased degree of muscular tension in her hamstrings and calves, and her upper trapezius muscles presented with several hypersensitive nodular areas typical of trigger points with their accompanying pain referral patterns. This client said she had a renewed feeling about life, she is enjoying fitness, (runs as often as she can) has a schedule of her daily activities, takes time out to relax, and eats relatively healthy since the incident, as she is aware of how diet can influence cardiovascular health. When asked her if she can quiet the mind her answer was ‘not as much as I want too’. 

When assessing her breathing and breath habits she demonstrated a rapid respiration rate, breathe through the mouth and her cervical muscles were hyper-toned. Her respiratory presentation and characteristics presented as what hyperventilation might present as, a respiratory condition characterized by rapid breathing that affects the ratio of carbon dioxide to oxygen in the blood. A change in this blood gaseous ratio influences various physiologic processes, such as blood pressure, muscular tension and nerve irritation, all of which can be risky for an individual with a cardiovascular health concern. I spent several minutes explaining to her how her breathing may be influencing/contributing to the muscular aches and pain she is experiencing, and the potential effects on cardiovascular health. I then suggested spending the remaining session time on developing skills of breath awareness and breathing practice, and on reducing the muscular 

tension around the neck and shoulders with massage and other types of soft tissue treatment modalities. 

After a short deliberation, the client politely declined the treatment approach I suggested and indicated that she was referred by her physiotherapist to see me specifically for massage therapy to address her sore muscles and not for breathing lessons, and she asked to have her legs, back and shoulders attended too. I proceeded with her request and focused the treatment on reducing the muscular tension in her legs, back and shoulders. Post treatment the client reported feeling relaxed and with less tension in the areas where I treated.

Why did this experience create a ‘tension’ for me and what was /were the lessons for me

During the process of ‘unpacking’ this feeling of tension, what immediately surfaced was my assumption, and therefore the ‘tension’ I experienced, that the client, with her nursing background knowledge would have acknowledged the treatment approach I suggested. I wondered if this client considered that her sore muscles may be MORE related to her ‘hyperventilation like breathing patterns’ rather than to her activity levels, and more importantly, she was potentially increasing her risk of another cardiovascular event if she continued with her current breathing habits. As her care-giver at that moment, I experienced deep sadness as her decision did not address her breathing patterns. I realized that working on her sore muscles would bring some relief too her, and perhaps induce a deeper, slower balanced breath, even though it would be for the few moments we had.

I learner that while I advise clients on how to approach their health concerns as per within my scope of practice, they do not have to adopt the advice. I liken myself to the analogy of a bus stop, I am just one stop for them along their health and self-care journey. Some clients may travel the route several times, stopping each time to visit, before moving on, while for others it’s a single stop, single visit. For this particular client, nurse, person, I suspect it was a single stop and she has since moved on.

Following this experience, and now having to reflect on and further ‘unpack’ it, the next steps I anticipate would be to ‘flesh out’ how I situate myself as a practitioner within the massage therapy profession. Perhaps I need to reframe my practice and have a focus on respiratory health, or mind body interconnectedness so it’s clearer to all who visit, and it is more reflective of how I’ve evolved as a person and practitioner.